Struggle...

Battle, fight, war-all happening inside me. I want what is right and what is wrong. I desire goodness, mercy and simultaneosly evil and fleshly happiness. There is nothing good in me-wretched and evil is my nature-I can want nothing apart from darkness and flith. I am a dirty, ugly thing, wallowing in the muck and mire of my own desires. I struggle and push against the cords that bind, rip and keep me from freedom-self forged are some of these cords. I gasp for breath and the air of life. I can taste, see and almost touch it...I myself push it away and sink back into the pit. A hand reaches down, down into that pit-I am lifted-air, life, liberty. I am helpless, useless and without strength. This hand, this giver of life is my strength-life and freedom. Nothing did my efforts prove-all His...