Saturday, May 21, 2011

Me Myself and I

It's strange, learning to be alone with oneself, myself. I know I've commented on this before, but this is a new something.

A different kind of aloneness, a singularity. It's deeper: mental, spiritual, maybe even metaphysical. Whatever that means.

I didn't even realize how filled my head and my heart have been. I suppose we don't realize how full or occupied we are until we're not. We seem to fill our empty spaces and occupy our vacant places with anything and everything. The idea of space and stillness seems a wretched thing to the modern mind. But, it oughtn't be.

It feels somehow hard to embrace, and awkward-this new solitude of the mind and heart. I am so unused to the practice. Yet, it's welcome too. As strange as it is--this learning to be alone--it's even stranger that I think I might like it. Odd for me. New for me.

I have much to learn in this new space and during this time, and such lessons are not learnt overnight. But, I feel like an eager student on their first day of school, excited and terrified for the learning to begin...

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