Epiphanies. I am having many of them as of late, and it's kind of overwhelming. The relentlessness of life combined with constant new findings about oneself feels like a lot some days, many days.
Epiphany 1: I"m pretty sure I'm ADD. How I never knew this before, I have no idea. It's so painfully obvious and explains SO much about who I am and how I function. Amazing. Duh.
Epiphany 2: I apparently find my confidence and sense of self in others and not in myself or in God my Maker, basic, but unbelievably core. And very much in need of remedy. This one is far more serious and needs some serious priority of thought and action, which brings me to my next epiphany...
Epiphany 3: I have no ability to prioritize (which could indirectly or directly be affected by my "new-foud" ADD-ness)...
But, truly, I had no idea until very recently how much I truly struggle to simply prioritize daily tasks and necessary obligations. When I make "to-do" lists, everything on that list holds, in my mind, equal weight and priority. For example, taking care of my student loans, getting a hair cut and attending to work projects all exist on a level playing field of importance in my head.
How did I not know some of these things earlier...? I suppose growing is indeed a constant process, but it sure is exhausting sometimes. Sigh.