Sunday, February 13, 2011

Epiphanies Cont.

So, more epiphanies...

Epiphany 4: I find and have always placed my value of self in others rather than in self, me. It makes sense why the opinions of others have always weighed so heavily in my estimations of self. I invest so much in people, and apparently so much of myself in people that I have become indistinguishable from others thoughts and affections towards me. If these things waiver, so do my feelings and confidences in myself. It's fascinating, and tragic really.

I am a bit in distress in light of this revelation. One, because I don't know exactly how to break free from this position of thinking. And two, because it seems so much of who I am, that I fear the undoing process. But, it must occur.

I believe the key, in so many of these struggles, is contentment. And as the good book says, "ask and you will receive; seek and you will find." Perhaps I should begin asking for contentment. And to quote a wise woman I know, "what a phenomenal idea." Ask I shall.

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