........

I feel extremely flat lately, almost apathetic. Life just is, and I very much dislike it. One of my youth girls told me this morning, "I just feel lukewarm." That's a great way of putting it-life simply feels tepid. Icky. I would want to spit me out too.

God, I know I am attempting to learn what it means to "be still," but is that what this is? Or have I missed it entirely and have instead happened into a stage of sheer lethargy? I hope not the latter. I know I am terribly uncomfortable with "non-productivity" and that stillness is a very foreign concept to me, but I don't know what the balance is between letting go, yet remaining intentional. What's the difference?

Teach me to be still. Teach me to abide. But, please teach me also to never stop seeking your face. And show me that balance, I pray...