Friday, August 29, 2008

The madness

The world is madness. School is madness. I love it, yet loath it simultaneously. I am at my best and my worst during these mad months of study and full life. How is this at all like real life? It's not, but it is. We are learning--learning to live, learning to live together, expanding our minds and growing up in the process. It is amazing to watch each other grow. It is amazing to watch yourself grow. But, oftentimes, as I grow and acquire more responsibility, I realize I am simply waiting for someone to find me out. Eventually the world will discover that I am just one big fraud. Adults, whatever that term means, feel similarly--or at least those I have discoursed with upon the subject. I have been told that this feeling of being a "fraud" lasts your whole life, we must, however, become better and more efficient at faking it. "Make it to fake it" as they say--whoever "they" are. Perhaps that is my best option--fake it. The madness will continue as life progresses and growing up cannot be stopped, and I must learn how to bear it all and somehow become an adult--no, screw it--I will grow old, but who says I have to grow up? Society--screw society and convention.

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