Modern trappings...

I loath the modern Christian bookstore and all that it represents. I cannot stand the shelves upon shelves of sappy Christian romance novels, that are essentially the same cliche, horribly written story retold again and again, just with different, repeating titles. I detest the tacky ties displayed near the cash registers, embossed with a fish or a cross. Who actually wears those? I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't wear ties. I particularly enjoy the entire wall dedicated to the infinite variety of Bible covers and cases. "Here we have a lovely industrial strength leather, complete with the owners initials, or here we have a plain steel casing, that ensures you will only read your Bible when YOU want to!" My favorite is observing the people who frequent these stores. Like the middle aged woman, who is wearing electric pink athletic pants and talking very loudly on her cell phone, as she bickers with the cashier because her items are more expensive than expected. Where is Christ in all of this? Where have we banished Him in the midst of these modern trappings of the faith? Maybe He is in the children's corner with veggie tales? I forgot to look there...

Order from Chaos into Madness

There is something incredibly gratifying about achieving order out of chaos. Cleanness from dirtiness. Neatness from disorder. Beauty from ugliness. This is satisfaction. I revel in emerging from the muck of chaos into the clean open spaces of order. This can, however, become an obsession. When the maintenance of order overtakes ones life. I wrestle with this problem, daily. I strive to maintain order in a universe where all tends to disorder. Madness? Maybe.

But, if we are not continually striving against the ever-encroaching chaos, we will be overcome. It does seem like madness, but life is madness. Nothing truly makes sense in the universe, or at least very little. Take love for example. It makes utterly no sense at all. Why would one individual completely surrender themselves body and soul to another, leaving oneself open and vulnerable to all possibilities, both good and bad? Foolery. It's all foolery.

The Beast of Complacency

Why do people settle? Why do people forsake their dreams? Why do we compromise? Is it obligation? Is it lack of zeal? Perhaps disillusionment? I assert that it is the tenacious beast of complacency. It creeps into our lives, silently stifling our deepest passions and desires. It suffocates any trace of initiative. If we are not adamant about shirking this oppressive beast, it will consume and absorb all essences of self that dream. The beast is relentless and so must we be. So must I be.

Dysfunctional

The absurdity of people my age is...we assume people give a damn; or rather we are hoping, longing with every fiber of our being that someone does. Blogging, twittering, facebooking, etc. They are all testaments to this fact--we want someone to care. We believe somehow that other people care about the intimate details of our lives, or at least put up with them--perhaps I am being cynical, but I think not. Also, I am a member of, what seems to be, a most "self-aware" generations: personality tests galore, the emo-scene out of control--for example. However, despite our obvious attempts at understanding ourselves, I do not believe there has ever been a generation so at odds with itself. We are absurdly unaware and disconnected. We have more opportunities for connection (i.e. twitter, facebook) and introspection (i.e. personality tests) yet we live horribly dysfunctional lives...but who doesn't, right.

Shells and pieces

The heart so quickly attaches. It is so apt to cling and hold on for dear life, to something, anything. As humans we so easily surrender ourselves to the unknown, to the unexpected. We so easily entrust our fragile shells to the abyss, only to be broken to pieces, by some unforeseeable force. Why do we trust...?

Unexpected...

Life is never quite what we plan...We strive and contrive, attempt to formulate and set goals of grandeur, yet our plans seem always to tumble and we always to fumble along the way of the unexpected. We anticipate and hope, long and desire after fantasies of our own making, and yet reality always surprises. Such is life...unexpected.

A Sea of Words

I am inundated in a sea of white and black.

Words surround, engulf, envelop me.
I cannot seem to escape.

I am swimming in the midst of p's and q's;
However, they are not minding me.

I pass a plethora of r's, who are getting a little rowdy
And shouting something about the Transcendentalists.

I latch onto a semi-colon, hoping to float to shore instead of swim;
Yet, it sinks sadly beneath a pile of o's.

A question mark peaks its quizzical head
Out from underneath a gaggle of giggling s's,
Wondering, I'm sure as to my presence.

Periods dot my view, one appearing indiscriminately after an M and an R.

I finally wade ashore and find Ralph Waldo Emerson
And Henry David Thoreau chatting it up with Queen Elizabeth and Thomas Middleton--

Something about women's rights and the importance of self, but I cannot hear their whole conversation over the clamor of the ocean behind me.